As the day is fast approaching --tomorrow! I am getting ready for Mom's eminent arrival. Its almost like Passover!
In the Passover preparation we must eliminate any bread, pasta, cookie, flour based food in the house. Basically, anything with yeast -the potential to rise- because we are symbolically removing our pride, arrogance, ego, etc from ourselves in preparation to celebrate the day Moses took the Hebrews out of Egypt. A very humbling experience indeed.
Its hard work, especially with little kids constantly leaving crumbs everywhere. Why I actually saw one of my little ones, last year, literally throw a piece of pasta behind the counter. (I made a mental note of this for clean up for this coming Passover).
Well, its the same with my mom. As I clean vigorously -or as vigorously as I can- I am also review things in my mind. Yes, my ego will be torn. To shreds. Somehow every Caribbean mother has a way of making the grown child feel small again.
So I prepare myself internally as well as externally. As I sweep every corner and mop the house (we have all tile floors here -no carpets) all the while I think she's going to find things wrong with me. Nothing will be right. I just have to accept it and continue to honor and respect her because she is my parent. Its like a mantra now, lol.
As I look up places to tour for her. I know I'll get criticized for whatever choice I make, but its okay. Its okay, its okay its okay. Honor thy Mother and thy Father is a tough commandment. But its important. Especially when I read the rest of it "....that your days may be lengthened..." I want to live long. lol.
As I choose which clothing to wear to meet her, I know she'll notice that I cut my hair -Oh boy. Everything but everything gets questioned: How I keep kosher now (Jewish orthodox way) as opposed to how I used to 'keep kosher' (the Caribbean way of salting, cleaning meat w/lemon & sometimes boiling water, etc). Actually, I do it both ways because I find it too hard to let go of my old way, but I have adapted my new ways. My head covering: It must be super gorgeous (sigh! what pressure). Even how I am with my husband.
Yep, just like Passover. I am also hoping for a miracle too! Just as the sea of Reeds split open for the people to pass, I am hoping my mom will have some kindness and go easy on me! Dear God, I thank you for allowing me to see my mom once again, even though we are so far. I thank you for the opportunity she had to enter the Holy Land and to come and pray at the Wailing Wall (Western Wall). God, isn't mercy one of your attributes? And isn't our relationship with our parents an interesting match to our eventual relationship with you? So, please let me see mercy from her eyes and heart! Bless us with a wonderful time that will only build both of our emuna (faith in action) for You. Thank You.