Monday, October 29, 2007

How I Met my Husband

You can read the entire story at Evia's blog.

Quotable Quotes

This one is from the Diva:

"Looking professional means taking charge of your appearance so that it is neat, clean, and orderly. It has nothing to do with your hair type."

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mirror Magazine

Not sure if this story is going around in the Christian world, but there is an old Jewish story /saying that says that when the women were working hard in the field -way back when when the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt - they would try to keep up the morale of their men. Sadly, though, many of the men were in despair, and wouldn't even come home to be with their wives, they would just fall asleep in the fields.

The women, wanting to rouse up the men, would go out to their husbands and look at themselves in the mirror. With the husband standing behind them and also looking in the mirror, the women would say, "i'm prettier than you.."

This jest would put a smile on the guy's face and give him strength to go home with his wife!


This gave me an idea. So many women pay good money to buy BW magazines all in the hopes of seeing their beauty put forth. But at times, BW get majorly disappoint when what's NATURAL to us is viewed as "unprofessional" by the very same magazine they paid for, or get stressed out at what the magazines subtly imply that we needs to do with our hair. Or worse, when they blatantly put a WW right on the front cover!

I say, don't bother with the disappointments. Get your GLAMOURous, ESSENCial, Mirror Magazine today! Get it for yourself, for your daughters, for everyone. Every morning you can look into that "magazine" just before you walk out the door and see the beautiful, go -getter you hoped would be advertised in there! (if not, you can fix it up before you head out). With this magazine, young girls will see themselves daily and learn to love themselves -not to mention, realize what is their 'great smile' or how to make that 'perfect coy' look. It would be the best friend ever.

I say buy several of these MIRROR magazines and leave in various parts of the house. Especially on the walls. That will make every chance to read it, a beautiful thing!

Positive blogging Week! Don't miss out !!

Ehav over at Hochmah and Musar is having a week of positive blogging. Join in to write a post of your own! Its November 4th to 10. Don't miss out!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Are Mammies type TWO personalities?

Well what are mammys and what is personality type TWO?

From Halima's blog, Evia described a mammy as "tons of asexual, often overweight, all-giving, depressed bw who get high off of "being there" for other people but are self-destructing and becoming extinct."

What a type TWO personality? Someone who loves to give and give and give. They can be very unselfish, to a fault. To them giving is what they thrive for. Seeing how other personality types give so little is bewildering to a TWO.

The not so great side about TWOs are: If they allow the ego to have too much play, they tend to become domineering and needy. They tend to get angry that no one is taking care of their needs, but they usually keep their needs secret for fear that folks will run away rather than take care of them.

As things go down scale, they can become conniving and love giving people the 'guilt' treatment. By them, you'd hear the phrase, "After all i've done for you!!!!" Also, they usually tend to over eat, people please, or get hysterical. (not all at once, lol)

It sure seems to me like the mammy description, is a type TWO personality description.

If you fit this description, there is hope!!!

First of all, you have some great qualities! You can be self sacrificing when needs be, you are humble (a rare trait), you are very protective of your loved ones, and you are a very giving person.

As long as you can keep a few rules in mind, you should do A-okay!
* Be EMOTIONALLY honest to yourself
* RESPECT yourself, even if your self esteem is down. treat yourself as 'another person"
* Allow others to be INDEPENDENT. Don't feel they must need you in order to feel important
* Get over the fact that you may have to SEPARATE from someone who is mistreating you. There IS better out there, and yes, you do deserve better!

Quotable Quotes

For myself i'm just gathering some interesting quotes that i've read on blogs...

Here's one from Sangreneth:

"Black men have everything to gain by maintaining the status quo while black women have everything to lose."

Love and Hate on the Rise

What powerful love does it take to defy stereotypes, social pressures, and all other man made constructs to be in an interracial marriage? An Intense one! One in which both parties know and feel that this is what they need, this is what they want and they have one life to live and grab at it! An intense love for self and for the other and for good for goodness sake.

At the same time that many inter-racial couples and their blogs are popping up left and right, so are news about intense hate -bigotry, racism- crimes popping up in the news.

I mean stories about nooses being hung on a tree to frighten people into remembering the gory days of American history. (see here for that story), Jena 6 incidents, Megan Williams.

What's happening? Is one bringing on the other? Is the world turning....intense?! And more importantly, what can be done to tip the scale? I don't think its enough for the lovers to love harder while the haters hate harder.

Intense times call for intense measures. The most intense biblical persona that I know was King David. He loved hard, was hated hard, fought hard. Lived life with such intensity. He was like a person who wasn't afraid to feel and explore all his feelings and emotions and didn't hesitate to act when he needed.

Many of the Psalms were said to have been written by him and there is one that sticks out of mind right now...

"Behold those who hate You (The Holy One), I hate. With those who rise up against you, I contend. With the utmost hatred, I hate them; they have come to be my enemies."

Psalm 139:21-22

So what does it mean to contend, to declare this group of haters our enemy? I think it means not to be passive when seeing a hate crime but to decry it, to fight against it, to not let it overwhelm our society to the point of numbness and acceptance.

I really commend Gina from What About Our Daughters for her tenacity and drive in this matter (even though she chewed me out when I expressed discouragement LOL). It begs the question, what am I doing about it? What are you?

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Walking the Plank

After reading Amazing's hilarious blog about feeling self conscious in an inter-racial relationship, I decided to open up and examine my own dealings with the 'walking the plank' scenarios.

Granted, my parents come from a west Indian country in which many people stare. So, its not a very new thing for me. In fact, when I lived in the USA, in the predominantly Mexican neighborhood, people stared there too.

They stared at anything remotely interesting. Want to not get starred at? Just stand still and be BORING ! lol.

Here in Israel, its about the same as well. I remember a few years ago, I went out and sat on a park bench with my husband to write down some ideas onto a notebook. Within minutes, about five kids were there starring at us. Have they never seen a black woman and a white husband before? Perhaps. I knew their stares didn't have any malice behind them, so I continued on with my project. Pretty soon, those kids and others were running around my bench play whatever games they were playing. It was nice having the children around.

Those are the pleasant and lukewarms stares. Then comes the curious step-back stares. These are from adults who are bsically surprised and taken aback. Hoo Haa! An interracial couple?! Does the black woman talk? Can she funcion...just..just like an ordinary human being?! For those stares, as long as I know that i'm lookin good, i ENCOURAGE them to stare lololol!

Then there are the loaded, critical, judging stare, which I admit, I dread to confront. In the African American communities, there are certain criterias that must be met. Any deviation from those criteria and you are almost an instant outsider worthy of scorn, ridicule, or insults.

When I was in high school, I remember, one HAD to have a raider's jacket. Just who were the raiders, to this day, I don't know LOLOL

Anyways, being in an inter-racial relationship was one of those big taboo things. Instant 'sell out' and a whole bunch of other pre-established names were relegated for that 'sin' alone. I had committed this 'sin'. So far, I haven't been back to the USA but once since I left for Israel.

The one time I returned, I was too busy trying to get readjusted to feel anything. Just dealing with former Israelis so glad to find someone to speak Hebrew to fresh out of Israel, was alot. I am still struggling with the Hebrew, but they didn't know that. LOLOL

Now, it appears that things are changing. checking out Evia's blog and Halima's blog -the jump starters- black women are opening up their options and making smarter choices in men. Perhaps I won't have to walk the plank should I come back for a visit.......???

New Blog

Hi all,

This blog is for discussing non-Jewish topics of interest to me. In light of this awakening that I am seeing that is going on in America in regards to black women, just for documentation's sake, I thought i'd blog about them. Info will also be report, linked, etc.

I may get carried away and put a Jewish spin on things, but mostly not.