.
I'm having a flashback. In third grade. I had just begun learning English and could actually follow along in class. It was a nice enough school. There weren't many Blacks in my class, but being a tom-boy I didn't really care. I had my guy friends and we were cool.
One day, the teacher asked us to play musical chairs. The children's game in which the teacher makes some sort of music or noise while all the kids walk around the room. When the teacher stops the noise, everyone had to find a seat quickly. But the trick is that there is always one seat less than the amount of children. So slowly slowly kids get illiminated from the game until there is only one --the winner.
Well, so the game got down to only two students: me and another girl. As we walked around the room while the teacher played her music, in my youth and innocence I could still feel the whole room rooting for the other girl. Some were cheering her loudly. I was the foreign black student unkown to most. My timid smile came on. It was my defense. My "I have so much to say, so much that I feel, but I can't put it all in words" smile. The music went on. There was only one seat. And I wanted it...
I became oblivious to the cheer for the other girl. I was in a silent place inside myself. Eventually, the music would have to end and one of us would get the seat. Despite the pressure I felt from the class to "lose" there was a part of me that, well, just didn't wanna. So when the music stopped, I ran as fast as I could and got the seat!
I won!!!
The class was silent.
I won.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment