The Error of My Ways: The Loan

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A long long time ago, way before family, I was single and lived in Chicago. Well, I made up my mind that I wanted to do a certain project but I needed some money.  I knew Mr. So and So was a wealthy Jewish philanthropist and so I decided to pay him a visit.

I marched right in to his office and informed the whispery -voiced secretary that I would like to speak with Mr. So and so.  After communicating with him via her intercom, she said I should go into his office.

I went. I felt pretty confident. Had on my best clothes, had my script ready. I was on! I stated my cased and made my request....

He agreed!!! He gave me some money and we agreed on a time to pay him back.


Time passed, life happened and lo and behold it was near the time to pay back the loan! I had been slowly accumulating money to pay him back but I was nowhere near at the amount that I needed to have.  The time was fast approaching and as hard as I worked there didn't seem to be any way that I would have that money in time.  So I had to make a decision:  Either I call him and apologize profusely and request for an extended time or I hide away.  In my great twenty something year old intelligence, I decided to do the manly thing and hide away!

The date came and went and I didn't go to see him. I was hiding.  All the while praying that i don't bump into him in the streets.  Slowly slowly I worked until I was finally able to gather the money to pay him back!

I was elated. I could finally show my face again! No more shame and humiliation. As soon as I gathered the money I ran straight to his office. Convinced I was that he would be so happy to receive his money back that he would understand and forgive and forget my previous hiding away.

I boldly knocked and entered his office. There was the whispery-voiced secretary as usual. I told her who I was and proudly announced that I was ready to pay Mr. So and so back.  Again, she communicated via intercom in her whispery voice...

"Mr. So and So, Ms Miriam is here to see you..."

"Send her in!!" was his response.  It sounded alittle angry, I thought. Sort of like a...growl...  But clutching the money I figured he'd instantly change once he saw what it was about. So I innocently marched into his room.

Rich people are truly rich!  Just looking around his room was amazing. His office desk was made of this thick beautiful wood. Everything said "rich"  in his room.

"Hi Mr. So and so, Its me, Miriam, I'm sure you remember our interaction?"

silence.

Suddenly, there was a pretty sizable lump in my throat.

I began to realize, this guy is not in a very good mood to see me.  I felt some beads of sweat appearing on my forehead. At that point, I wanted my momma.  I wanted so badly that Haitian-Creole speaking, belt using, nice when they want to be-parents.  I tried to be tough.  Surely, i'll make him happy when I present him his money back.  I tried to convince myself once again.

"Have a seat" he said without lifting his head from whatever it was he was writing. I slid over to the cushy soft armchair that was in front of his desk.  It was very soft. So soft in fact that I just sunk in deeper and deeper into the chair.

The deeper I sunk, the more the realization sunk in. This guy is not happy with me.  And why would a wealthy man care so much about such money? He can burp this amount in his sleep! No, it was the principle that counted. The lack of honesty that i showed by not reporting to him at least on the day that I was supposed to pay him back, just too ask for an extention was bothering him. Money was a non issue -he had plenty of that, principle was more valued.  Why didn't I just call him that day? What harm could that have done?? I sunk deeper into that chair.

Finally I felt like two eady beady eyes staring out from inside that armchair.  Then he lifted his head to look at me.  His eyes said it all:  No mercy.


I swallowed hard and braced myself. I had it coming...

(Epilogue: So he pretty much admonished me-quite sternly- for messing with his trust. He would have much preferred that I was straightforward with him and asked for an extension.  He said it made him weary to loan money again from that experience. I am so sorry for my foolish decision.  Thank God it didn't last too long in there- 10 minutes tops. )

Philippinos and Mexicans

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Now, you may wonder what does a black Jewish girl have in relationship to Philippinos and Mexicans. So, let me explain:

When I lived in Chicago, I remember almost every company I called had in their voicemail: Press one for customer service, two for automated credit card payment, and three for spanish. Or something like that. I often wondered how was the "se habla Hispaniol" department? Was it decent? Do they do all the customer service and payment and everything else all there? I used to also think how sad to be in a country and not know the language. How must they feel?

Well fast forward to Israel. Now, I am struggling with the Hebrew. Sometimes I call a company and hope for the "for English, press three" message --but alas, many times its just Russian, Arabia, or Hebrew! No English choice. Well so I try. I do pretty well, but the only problem is when I get tired, that's it. Brain closes down and the Hebrew department is gone. lol

As for Philippinos - I see them, almost as if shadows. They come to the country expressly for working and for sending money back home in the Philippines. But at times I feel wistful for them that they work so hard and often not acknowledged or not treated as if there is a person in the room. So I make it a point to say hello to them or smile or share a joke or something. Not sure if that's the right thing. For all I know they probably just want to get through the day and get out of there. But hopefully I am doing right.

Another stickler for me is because sometimes I feel that they are alot like Black folks. Some people may see them as mere servants! As if that (maid, nanny, etc) is all they were even meant to do /be. For this reason, I have purposefully tried to never hire them myself -some strange way of letting them be. But they came for work, right?

Well, my place is a mess and I saw how well a friend of mine's home is and she has someone working for her. I think I may buckle. But that would be good because they came for work --I am trying to tell myself this.

I suppose that's my version of being "liberal" minded...

Have You Hugged a Special Person Today?

I could be wrong...but I think there may be a nephew waiting, or perhaps a niece... An aunt, a mother, a father... a spouse... some giggly children just waiting for today's hug! Are you too busy? Naw, I don't think so. Go ahead, spread some compassion, some kindness!



Okay, how about just a shout out to a friend by telephone? (don't these guys act like Na nachim? Na Nachim are these Jewish guys with white kippahs who go around dancing and jumping on street corners.)



Here are some Na Nachim:



Funny thing about them, there always trying to get others to dance too!

Quick Israeli story:

I was on a bus heading back to my dorm. There was a bum in the back of the bus just making noise and singing his head off. I could see from the rear view mirror, the bus driver was keeping an eye on him. Others kept glancing back as well. At this time, I was new in Israel. I knew people could get very emotional and loud and wasn't sure what to expect. I waited hesitantly for the "big brawl" to get him out of the bus.

Finally one man got up. He marched over to the back of the bus. I watched wide eyed. He got to the bum and said, "Do you know such -and such a song?"

The bum replied, "yes." and sang the requested song. Afterwards, others began to put in their request to the bum.