Why Are We Black? Turn from Evil and Do Good!

This understanding came to me one night.  I pray it is used for good.

Everything in the physical world has its corresponding connection in the spiritual world which in turn has its corresponding connection in other realms and so on and so forth.

For example:

Some very important connections to know going forward is:

sun rays = judgement, harsh judgement
water = mercy and/or Torah.
rainbow = sunrays hitting water.  judgement hit by mercy.


In the story of Noach and the flood, it was a time when people became very corrupt.  Previously, low angels called, Nefillim, fell into the earth with the intent of f*cking with people.  The resulting children from this rape were white children doing and encouraging corruption to everyone else and everywhere.  The corruption went down even unto the animals and plants, almost effecting even the ground.

As a result, so many were doing wicked things.  G-d gave the world a good spanking for their bad behavior.  This flood was an interesting "punishment" meted out with mercy and judgement.  The flood waters represent mercy, but it came in an overwhelming way and drowned the people and cleansed the earth.  Afterwards the sun (which represents harsh judgement) came out.  That was the punch hidden in the mercy.

Luckily for Ham, while in the shelter of the ark, he had a revelation.  Ham had "intercourse" in the ark.  Just as we write that "Adam knew Chava" it is meant to mean that Adam had intercourse with Chava, gaining knowledge and having intercourse are similar and interchangeable.

So Ham realized and knew something while in the ark.  According to some sages, the ark was lit with a sapphire stone.  Precious stones vibrate -- they are often used on the body to open blocks and to correct behaviors. So, Ham starred at this precious stone and had a revelation -- from this he saw through the mercy, through harsh judgement that was hidden within the mercy, and even  the next coming "flood"

This is why the history of the people from Ham is so similar to the history of the Jewish people.

SIMILARITIES:

• Ham went into the ark before the flood of waters came down.  In the story of the Hebrews, they went to the foot of the mountain before the flood of Torah came down  

• Ham was said to have had intercourse while in the ark and the flood was coming down.  In the story of the Hebrews, it is taught that they were under a "wedding canopy" when they received the Torah.  And just like a wedding, in order to consumate the wedding, the couple must have intercourse..

• After the ark experience, Ham was met with racism.  After the Torah experience, the Jewish people were met with anti-semitism.

• After the ark, Ham saw Noach polluting the ground again and acted on it.  Noach grew a vineyard.  Eventually, got drunk, striped down and went into the tent.  Remember, the last sin before the flood was illicit sexual acts and spilling seed.  Ham did not want another repeat of the ruination of his world, so he acted on it to stop Noach.  Noach was a righteous man in his time.  Meaning, back in his day, he was the best of the worse.  But after the ark incident, Ham rose higher in righteousness whereas Noach stayed the same.  This created jealousy.  Also, with the Hebrews, after receiving the Torah, antisemitism came into the world.  Three had "intercourse" in the ark.  Ham, the raven, and the dog.  As a result, as the teachings go, Ham was stricken in the skin.  The raven was made to spit.  And the dog was fit to be tied.

• The dog is now considered "man's best friend" in many societies.  They love the dog.  They keep it and feed it.  They tie it to their homes.  The dog has graduated away from the animal world and is almost a part of the human world.
• The raven has the ability to speech even better than the parrot.  With their intelligence, which is like that of a seven year old human child combined with their ability to speak, which is strictly a human quality, the raven, too, has graduated away from the animal world and almost entered the human realms.
• Now Ham, who is already human, is stricken in the skin.  When a parent wants a child to do something, the speak to the child.  If the child doesn't listen, the parent speaks louder, even shouting.  If the child still doesn't listen, the parent may strike the child.  Striking is like a loud, thunderous speech.  When Ham was "stricken" in the skin, it's Gd speaking strongly into Ham giving him teachings and instructions. With this understanding and knowledge, Ham almost left the human world and almost entered the angelic world.This message, which we call melanin, has the instructions and guidelines for us.

• Ham's son, Canaan, was said by the disgraced Noach that he should be a "slave of slaves."  Jewish Torah commentator, Shlomo Yitzchaki, aka RASHI, spread it to mean Ham and all his descendants would be "slave of slaves."  Interestingly, Black people fight for the civil rights of many who have no voice and who cannot fight on their own.  Even when they don't fight, many who are oppressed hang on to the stories of Black civil right leaders and Black Panthers and others to gain strength to fight another day.  The Jewish people were said they should be a "priest unto the nations."  Another thankless job.  Just as the Jewish people were able to regain their land, Israel, so too this gives hope to the Native Americans, the Aboriginals of Australia, and others that they can regain their land and tongue back.

• Later on Canaan travels to Israel, then called the Land of Canaan. Later on the Jewish people travel to Israel, then they changed the name to Land of Israel.

It is taught that Ham was blessed black as the raven, Jaffeth was blessed white, and shem was blessed black.

Because Ham was able to peer through and see the future with a vision, he understood how to behave, how important truth was, and how to live in harmony with the world.  Which he was prepared to do.  He had a Torah written into his skin and was bound to live righteously or face terrible consequences.  Just as Shem's descendants were given Torah on Mount Sinai -- that can only be written on (cow) skin to live by. The skin is the testimony of Black people being bound to Gd --hence, the fact that so many can rightfully say they are Gd or Gdesses.  And the Torah, which can only be written on skin is for all others who wish to take up righteous living and be bound to Gd as well.

Back to the story of Noach.  After the great flood in Noach's time, when things began to dry up a little, the sun began to shine, meaning judgement has now come (fist part of the diagram).  The waters (mercy) had come ahead and did most of the job so that the sun's rays (i.e. the harsh judgement) hardly had anyone to get..  But what happens when water meets the sun's ray?  The colors get separated like a prism.

The judgement became scattered.

A short story:
There was once a king who was so angry with his son he ordered a big bolder to be thrown at him to kill him.  When the day came to do this, he felt so bad since he didn't give his son a second chance but he couldn't remove the decree.  So what did he do?  He ordered that the bolder be broken into little bits, that way each little bit will be thrown at the son and not much damage will happen, thus sparing his life.

With each color separated -- each judgement separated -- it went to different people depending on what they deserved -- depending on what they were a vessel for.  But Ham, having had his vision, was pure and was blessed black (Shem too).

When we're dealing with light, we are dealing with physics.  And in physics the lack of color is Black (unlike chemistry).  And a combination of all the colors -- all the judgements -- is white.

Thus no color = no judgement came upon him, and therefore, he was Black.  Someone who was very bad, who did all the wrong things, all the judgement went on them and they would be all the colors combined --white.

We are black because we turned away from evil.  But the world needs help.  It's not enough to just turn away from evil.

"Turn from evil and do good."

                                                       Psalms 34:14

Despite this great beginning, some of us are turning into spiritually white people.  We demand to be included in their wickedness.  We join their army and pillage brown countries for resources, we join in their pranks and laugh at the expense of the tormented, we overlook their deception, and beg for a seat at their table.

That is not what we are supposed to be doing.  In the Torah and possibly Bible, we learn about how so many people never died, they simply "walked into paradise."  Is it a place that we can walk to?  Consider Africa, the cradle of humanity, the motherland.  Just like a mother, it has everything the baby needs.  We have been carried so far away from Motherland and have been suffering for it ever since.  Why not re-establish the connection?  Why not walk back into paradise?  Sadly, whites have discovered a way in.  The sword of fire no longer holds them back.  But are we going to just sit there and watch?  Or will we reclaim Motherland?  Its not enough to have turned away from evil so long ago.  Turn from evil... and do good for the Motherland.

Eliezer and Our Story

One very unsung hero in the bible is Eliezer.  The Servant of Abraham.

He was said to be so holy and on such a high level that he was able to go into paradise while alive.

Eliezer was given the holy task of being the vessel to make the match for Yitzchok/Isaac.  He took it on.  I am almost certain that if it was for anyone else, there would be scores and scores of written words about how the father should have taken the job himself and what an important job it was and how dare he leave it to the servant.  But since it was one of the people that we decide is a "good guy" then no matter what, some will not fault him for anything.

So there goes Eliezer with this big load of responsibility on his back.  Stories have it that he prayed constantly for Hashem to show him who is the right person for this holy marriage.

He stood by the well and waited.  He knew most people had to come around this old time water cooler and perhaps he can get info this way.  As he waited, Rivka (Rebecca) came with her pitcher to gather water for her family.

 Eliezer asks her for some water and she graciously pulls water out of the well not only for him, but for his camel as well.  This was a sure sign that she was giving and kind.  Not only that but that she went the extra mile.  Eliezer then presented her with gifts and explained his purpose.  Rivka brings him home to tell the family what's going on.

The family is an interesting one.  The father, Bethuel, doesn't sound like he's such a nice guy.  In fact, he named his own daughter, Rivka, after a bunch of cows (in Hebrew a group of cows is called a rivka) as a way to insult her.  Bethuel tries to swindle Eliezer for more $$, but Rivka sees her way out and grabs it.  That very day she agrees to go with Eliezer.

Question:  if Bethuel was such a bad guy that he was willing to shame his daughter by calling her a rivka, try and swindle a man who was trying to offer a good marriage to his own daughter, why wouldn't he shame his son as well by calling him Laban which means white.  It was post the time of the flood.  Hopefully, most of the nefillim were washed away and all those who brought on destruction of the world.  But what if a few remained.  what if Laban, due to Bethuel's genes, came out white.  Why would someone call another white if he wasn't the lone white guy?  As if the whiteness singled him out and, this being Bethuel we're talking about, was a way to insult someone.

I'll tell you why.

Because I suspect right now we are in the times of Avraham.  Meaning we are in a place in time where we can do kindness.  We can do hospitality.  We can take care of bodies, things, etc.  But mentally, we may still be in the same mindset as Noach's thinking.  And Noach was basically a racist.  He set the tone. He didn't like the fact that Ham was wise.  that Ham, the dog, and the raven took advantage of an advantageous moment and elevated themselves. So much so that he wanted to chuck the raven the first chance he got.  He cursed Ham the first chance he got.  And luckily the dog escaped unscaithed.

So even though we can give and be kind, mentally we are stuck in Noach's mindset.  I think this is also why the Torah is written in the angle that it is written.

I think it is important to take the halachot (laws) and mitzvot (good deeds, commandments) from the Torah, but then each person must map out and chronicle their own narrative of why.  We must all write our Torah.

For example, the story of the Exodus could be written completely from the direction of the Egyptian.  How Hashem wanted to bring them back to holiness.  Or perhaps they reached the height of wisdom and had no choice but to enter a new world -- the world of humility, which would explain the whole reversal of creation that occurred.

That same story can probably be said again from the angle of another, smaller group of people who lived during that time.

I pray we find Hashem and do good deeds (mitzvot, commandments) and not rely on hisstory -- i.e. the other guy's story, but find our story -- and find the goodness in our story (and not fight another about their story).

Introducing: Cyn

Racketeers of racism

Romany Malco lays it out...

Imhotep

In the search for air, for redemption, for salvation from all the oppression and mistreatment, many find solace in the Old Egyptian, Kemetic ways.



Without delving in too deeply, I suspect it was formed as a result of so many depraved society all around them. And as a result, they came up with this civilization that can nullify the depraved society's grasp on them.

But I think it's only because they became more snake than the snake.  They became more depraved than the depraved societies. Except in Egypt it's done consciously and not so much out of the pull of lust and folly.



Its a powerful way to fight.  It almost seem undefeatable. Looking back in the stories of ancient Egypt in the Bible, they became a super power.  Everyone went to them when there was famine in the land.  They never seemed effected by the famine.

In fact, they seemed so undefeatable that when the Hebrews became entangled with them, it took the reversal of the entire creation to get them out (the death of the first born; creation of Adam first man, the death of the beasts; the 5rd day of creation of the animals, plague of darkness; the beginning light, etc.)

Even HaShem, G-d, seem to have understood them.  He never wanted them to be killed. It is even written that one of the purpose of the story of exile was so that Pharaoh would know Hashem. (there are some who say he did finally recognize Hashem and went on to rule in Nineveh and fell into corruption until Jonah came along).

There is a standing commandment for the Jews not to refuse or be cruel to Egyptians for they were once a stranger in a strange land.  Most will interpret this to mean that since the Jews were in exile in Egypt so for that reason, in the merit of the history and since Egyptians did some good for them, they should remember that and act with kindness.  But to me it could also mean that just like the Jews were "stranger in a strange land" being Jews among depraved people until they finally reached their promised land.  So the Egyptians also experienced being alone against depraved people -- until they built themselves strong enough to push them away by taking those very depravities and using the power in them.

Now many Africans were taken by the European slave trade and brought to the Americas.  The whole society from South America to North America was created by greedy people who had no problems killing the Native American Indians that lived there, take their resources and sit in their lands, seeking new groups of people to whip and force into labor and thrive.  Then to remove the feelings of guilt, they "elevated" things into falsehood.  Rootless ideas, words, and beliefs. Now their history is neither on the ground (truth) nor in the heavens (holy).  It hoovers around somewhere in the realm of falsehood.

And as time goes by -- and since falsehood can't stand on it's own -- they have to keep adding to their level of falsehood which in turn increases the level of depravity.  Now these very Africans are trapped in a society of very depraved people trying to justify their existance by blaming those very Africans for everything wrong.  Committing crimes on their back.  Acting out their depravity. Strangers in a strange land.

It seems only natural that the likes of Shakka Ahmose, Sa Neter, and other Imhotep people with the kemetic movement would emerge.  It's the wisest and most powerful reaction against all the depravity.  But it's not the holiest route.

Just as G-d beseeched Pharaoh to turn and do good, I want to beseech the imhotep people to turn also to Torah.  Not to convert, no!  But rather to learn its wisdoms and holiness and to create a society that can fight the depravity with goodness rather than with conscious depravity.

Gorilla vs Boy vs Stupid

As you all know in the Cinncinatti zoo, a small boy of 4 years old managed to get into the gorilla's sanctuary and fell right near the gorilla.  The zookeepers followed protocol and shot the gorilla.

If it had been a white family -- if the mother of that boy was a white lady, I think that would have been the end of the story.  but since its a Black family, people are seriously upset that the gorilla was killed because of a little Black boy -- as if it was a waste of a death.

Not even giving a second thought to the fact that maybe the gorilla shouldn't be locked up in captivity for their viewing pleasures.

Investigations are being made on the family! All their past wrongs are being put out in the media. SMH.  And if anyone dare call out racism, then the collective will roll their collective eyes as in, "why'd you have to bring that up?"  Burst their bubble of pretend.  They are being racist!

It almost makes me wonder if they are really all that upset that  a gorilla was harmed.  Rather they are sad that their pleasure got taken away from them for the sake of a Black boy.  They would harm another gorilla to capture it and replace Harambe when all this dies down.

Heck! Once upon a time they had Black folks in zoos!

Rest in peace, Harambe.  Sad that you were captured and caged and sad about the whole incident.

Thankfully, the boy is okay.  The family is probably going through rough times right now with lots of emotions flying around.  Send vibes of goodness towards them. If you can write good for them.  Keep that light on.

Why Racism is so Hard to Fight

Racism is a behavior based on the value of cruelty.  This value -- as all values is not a tangible thing.  It's just part of a belief system.  Not something you can "kill."  You can merely surround yourself with people who do not possess cruelty as a value.

In the society that we are in -- namely, the USA, I'm afraid that they do not even comprehend ethics.  They are literally like children with no ethics.  Of course, they are not as cute as children when you see the police brutality, the lynching, the economic oppression that they wrought the cute-factor is not there.

(I guess another way is to shame them into behaving out of fear of punishment.  That's something, however, it only means the behavior will become more concealed the next time.  And is that what we really want?)

The United States is so lacking in ethics that even the court system is not based on it. In the court system, the question is simply did you break an assigned rule for the citizen?  It's not whether you did wrong or not.  So many people go into court ready to defend themselves based on ethics and values only to lose miserably in court because the judge is not looking for that.  They just want to see if you, as a citizen of the State, were within your rights to do x or if you violated a barrier they placed.

The problem of cruelty is compounded in that it is surrounded with lies.  The racists create an excuse as to why the victim is deserving of this cruelty.  In their anger, they can't even see the wider picture and don't care that their reasoning may be contradicting an opposing reason that had been stated earlier as to why the victim is deserving of the cruelty.  His pants were sagging, he seemed like a thug; he was behaving so uppity with that suit, and the list can go on and on.

That's the tier #1.  The next surrounding lies is the denial of any malicious action happening.  That is tier #2 lie.  It's a concealment within a concealment.  What do you do with someone like that?  If you're not careful, you can spend years fighting this lie -- falsehood -- something that doesn't even exist.  You can spend years fighting for the admittance that you really are a good person, that you come from good ancestry, that you have good in you, that you didn't do anything wrong.  And as long as no one validates, the fight -- the struggle -- will go on endlessly.  You're not really fighting anything but an illusion and the racists fight back by simply being passive and letting us run around in circles.  Say, "Black Lives Matter!"  and you will be met with either silence or diffusion (all lives matter!). (We have to have the psychological fortitude to not need their validation).

It's such an illusion that when the police come, they have to wait and hope that the Black person trips up and does something to give them a reason to fall into their cruel, frenzied attack.  Because there really isn't anything wrong with that person.

So for this reason, I don't think that racism can end anytime soon if we wait on them to come around.  However, we must embrace the fact that we have ethics, we have values and morals, we have a compass that tells us what's right and what's wrong, and we need to obey that "teacher" inside us.

So how to have an ethical life in the midst of this exile surrounded by non-ethical people?  The only way I can think of is to have safe havens.  Just like Chinatown has its little enclave where the people can live and exercise their own ethics, just like the Italians have their "little Italy" where they practice their own set of values, so the Black community must also work on that.  And have a buffer -- an organization that will come to their defense when a member has to deal with the outside buffer zone.  An organization that knows the laws, keep track of the changes in the laws, puts out public service messages, and figures out how best to avoid, circumvent, or otherwise benefit despite the laws.

To conclude, racism is not a tangible thing so no physical weapon can strike and kill it.  However, it can be tempered by avoiding its "carriers" when possible and having a buffer or shield to protect oneself should the need arise to deal with the racists.

Some Sad Post links...(Dealling with Racism)

Dealing with racism...

First we have the Black  or Biracial Jew having to deal with the yiddishe word "shvartze" which, yes, technically it just means black but its usually said in a slurred way because, well, its a slur.

Zien Shver blog

Then there's an Israeli Jew who got called Terrorist because he looked Sephardi or more Arabic.

story from PopChassid 's blog

Does anyone realize that everyone is suffering alone?

The Making of A Racist?

Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

Sometimes in the deep deep secret of my heart, I wonder where is the loyalty of the Black Jew? Is it to his blackness? Is it to his Jewishness?  Is there a right answer? Should there be?

Many Black Americans feel compelled to have allies of like people around them.  Its comforting and creates less chance of verbal gang ups by whites, less chance of being visibly singled out and shunned,  less chance of victimhood.  Even as they enter the Jewish world, which is diverse however, in America there is a prominent Ashkenazi population, even then they seek out their color brother for safety and comfort.

And when such color brothers are nowhere to be found, or are too few and far between, then the borders are knocked down and color brothers are searched for in other realms.  Thus, we have many groups of "Black Jews" which includes Orthodoxy, Conservatives, Reforms, Black Hebrews, Hebrew Israelites, Christians, Messianics, Muslims, you name it all in the same group. If its got the color, its in.

However, because the value system is not upheld (I mean seriously, does an Orthodox Jew believe Conservatives or Reforms are Jews or are they just flattering for the sake of having the numbers around them for the time being? Don't Reforms feel weary of the Orthodox's "holier than thou" thinking? Do Messianics and Christians not want to eventually devour the Jew's mind and replace it with their own dogma? ), the Black Jew must compromise on much of what they claim they hold dear for the sake of getting along with their color brothers.

As a result, they participate when these "others" slander the State of Israel,  they participate when Others denounce any rabbinic ruling they are not in favor of, they slowly disrobe themselves of the faith they once had for the sake of accommodating others' ideals.

(Granted I know why this is done.  Its the middot we are after, the kindness, the comfort the love that can be found from another.)

The poor Black Jew is just about ready to give up his Jewishness for the approval of his color brothers.

But what he doesn't know, and what is usually the case, is that those Other color brothers would love to have his Judaism. So an exchange slowly happens.

As the Black Jew gives up his Jewishness, his brothers slowly pick up his sparks that are foolishly discarded. They pick up his diction, his words, his clothes, his knowledge, his Torah, etc.,  at least at face value.  Then he begins to walk around amongst the Jewish people pretending as if he is a Black Jew.

Lest anyone finds out his ruse, he builds a wall. A wall called "Racism!"  If anyone dares ask him questions as to where he comes from or who he really is, he will declare the questioner a racist.  It doesn't matter that the question is asked out of stupidity, foolishness, curiosity, for the sake of clarity; any and all questions are

met with the dreaded label of  "Racist!"

So now what are the rest of the Jews to do?  How should they deal with the fake Black Jews and the real Black Jews.  How can they tell the difference? How will they know if that levite they are calling up to the Torah reading is really a Jew at all? How will they know if that couple that asked for their son to be circumcised on Shabbat is really a Jew at all? Can't ask! Don't want to be a racist!

And then we have another issue with our color brothers.  The studious Hebrew Israelites and Black Hebrews who learn Torah, not because they want to be part of the Jewish people with all its diversity. No.  They would rather usurp the title of Jew. Why? I have no idea. But it wouldn't be the first time people wanted that title. And so they work, tirelessly, to create the history of the Moors and how they were Jewish all along.

The Nigerians are getting in on this action too.  As they insist to their fellow Nigerian counterparts that all their other Nigerian oral traditions are false except the one that says that they were of Jewish descent.  They keep the propaganda going because if you say something long enough and loud enough... just maybe...

There is an enormously loud knocking on the Jewish door. Can you all hear it? Or is that a window getting broken?

And how unfair it is! Undoubtedly, there are White folks who try to sneak in the back door as well.  However, that is not spoken about as loudly. Different culture. Different methods.   But it personally hurts me, a Black Jew, that Black folks are doing this.  For all the struggles that I and people like me have gone through, and then to have to deal with this smoke screen, this fog, is disheartening. It makes that people can never be sure if someone is for real. And I'd like to keep it real.

So what's the solution? Granted, the problem of fake Jews pretending is not in a big scale as far as I've seen so far.  I've seen enough to make me nervous, but not enough to call the police ( Say where's the Sanhedrin when you need it? come on, people!). But its enough to raise an eye brow. So what's the answer? My fear is that if White Jews heard of this, they'd automatically take the easy lazy route and just dismiss all Black Jews. Black Jews will probably bite their nails. But whats the answer?

The State of Black Jewish Affairs

I want to note that when I say Black Jewish, I mean the orthodox definition of Jewish: Mother is Jewish or person had an orthodox conversion.

Baruch Hashem many are coming out of the woodwork --at least in my eyes- and its great! However, many are self concious, which is not strange, very sensitive and want to be accepted -especially those from America.

That is fine.

The problem comes when we are so willing to cover ourselves with reform, conservative, seculars, Christian, Muslim, anything black to cover our true selves in the hopes that numbers, quantity, trumps quality / values.  As a result, in order to not be a hypocrite to our comforters, we end up rejecting the very teachings of orthodoxy, and accept all sorts of people as Jews, accept all sorts of position (gay is okay, reform conversion is okay, etc) so that at least, we will have their acceptance, and together with them complain and slander our own.

Hmmmmm... what's wrong with this picture?

We need to recognize that there are things we don't like in the social scene in the Jewish world, but slandering our own Orthodox Jews to "outsiders" is not going to help. Nor does it help these friends.  They may be having their own issues in their own communities, but the motives may be totally different from what motivates our problems.  It will also make us look ridiculous for being still in that group. And that will create a cycle which will slowly, but surely, eventually pluck us out of that orthodox world.

If there is a problem, a possible solution is to voice our complaint where it can make a difference, and we should do it in a way that our complaints will be heard. While there is a place for venting frustration, we should be cautious that it doesn't turn into a breach of communal security -sending a bad scent of all the community's misdeeds to shamayim.

Who's got our back?

That is the big question! That is the whole reason we are turning to what we knew from before or what we think is the stronger, friendlier group who will comfort us.  Where is our bitachon? Where is our emuna? Where is our trust that our community has our back?  Where is our faith that Hashem will protect us and defend us?

Trust! Hashem protects the converts.   Trust! Those who were born Jewish, the Torah is our strength. Fortify yourself by immersing in Torah, in mitzvot, in getting your questions answered, in becoming the best you that you can possibly be, and the people that you "need" will come into your life either as "friends"  as "neighbors" as "family members" and however else Hashem works it.

There are many Black Jews who came in via conversion --and not from the same beit din.  Which means, there are at least three rabbis who feel and think it is good and right for black Jews to be Jewish, times that by however many black Jewish converts you can think up.

The good guys are out there.

~~~~~~~

p.s.  This is not to say that reform, conservatives, seculars, gays, Christians, Muslims, etc etc should be treated badly, G-d forbid!! They are humans and belong in the big pool of the human race. But it is to say that if your values are being stepped on, its not beneficial to go to a place who don't hold your same values, to get comfort and strength to fight harder for your values. You may meet eye to eye on that one point, but that is not enough.

Bye bye Racist!

I used to have this secret fear that deep, deep down, way inside of me was a racist!

yep. It was my skeleton in the closet.

Well, recently I decided to drag it out and really examine this fear...

I'm Black, married to a White man. That automatically should say, I'm not racist right? However, I am so weary when it comes to friends. With my husband, I can run around, we play, we chase each other, we laugh, have discussions and I feel perfectly fine -no thoughts of color.

When I'm with friends, I wonder if they are truly my friend. We can have discussions and I feel like a whole person when I'm around them. Oddly enough, alot of these usually were married to Black people or dated them or had some sort of "badge" that shows they are okay with Blackness.

Some I know they are not truly my friends. Some are my friend as long as I stay shut. Like a good little girl. As long as I just receive and not put out anything of my own (basically, as long as I work towards my inevitable implosion).

After a while, If i'm not careful, this can make me turn passive aggressive. Then I have to avoid those "frenemies" so I don't do or say anything wrong. If it still goes undealt with, then I get more outwardly nasty or make snippy remarks which I hate!!!

Anyway, thank G-d I am really good at avoiding the frenemies.

Nevertheless, I just wanted to meditate on it a bit. I have found that if a person has actually dated and/or married a Black person, then that makes me more receptive to them if they are White. But also, if they are into kabbalistic or mystical things or if they are into "different" cultures other than their own culture that also relaxes me. Some how, if they are Black, i seem to be less inhibited already. I can have opposing views from them, but we can still go to the shuk together, be around each other for Shabbat, etc. I can even show effection and care more readily...

Some months ago, I bunch of friends -all White, when together to hang out in the park. It turned into a fun water fight, but somehow I just could not participate. I wanted to. But something held me back and so I stayed with the other ladies who didn't participate for whatever reason. The ones who didn't participate were the ones who viewed themselves as the "spiritual leaders" of the group. I didn't participate, not because I thought I was "up there" with them, but because I just wasn't sure of their true grit, in-the-trenches, friends til the end, friendship. I just wasn't sure if their friendship was real or not (nothing to do with hair). And its usually the heads that I avoid or tend to have the most problems with. The 'little people' usually not so much.

Anyway, based on all this, I don't think I'm a racist. Even the Israeli army discovered that having two Ethiopians in a brigade was more effectively positive than just one. Its a funny need.

Racism vs Fear of Racism + Working Upwards

First a short story:

Long, long ago,  I lived in a different neighborhood. I lived in Jerusalem.  And, I would always take my twin girls to a nursery in that neighborhood.  Only thing was, whenever I passed a certain corner, there were these little boys there -almost waiting for me, it seems like. 


Like clock work, everytime I passed near them, they jump up and yell at me in Hebrew.  At the time, I didn't know as much Hebrew as I do know and wasn't sure what they were saying. (Also, my brain had this habit of just not trying to read or hear Hebrew).  So, I chose to ignore them, since I couldn't fight them.  I was sure they were saying some racial slur and was even embarrassed to go by there.  But it was my job to get the girls to and from the nursery sometimes and so I had to do it.


Well, one day, one day when I got good and tired of feeling kicked at, I made up my mind to give a good talking to to those little boys!


So the day came.  I was taking the girls back from the nursery to home, as usual.  And as usual, there were those boys some standing some sitting at the curb.  Sure enough as soon as they saw me they began jumping and yelling.  This time I listened to what they were saying....


"Please, please can you help us cross the street!! Please!!"


I was so embarraased.  All this time....all these days...they had been asking me to help them cross the street!!  In my own constricted mentality, I just interpreted unknown variable x to equal racism!!   I quickly gathered the boys around me and when the time was right, we all crossed the street together.  Then the boys ran off some this way and some that way off to their homes or down to the next curb.

Quite often--and I doubt I am speaking just for myself-  we just assume racism or quite often we don't even try- not because of racism, but because of the fear of racism.  I didn't even try to hear the boys out of fear that they were being racists towards me.

This can really hold someone back. Negative emotions are not simply emotions, they almost help the reality to be a certain way. Emotions are like cups, buckets, vessels.  When we invite a certain emotion around us, we are also inviting that cup and those types of vessels only hold "certain" types of "goods" --and it ain't good!

Well, I pray we can fight this.  I know the situations and locations are different.  For me, there is a lot less racism living in Israel, than in America.  I doubt in America a bunch of white boys would beg me to help them cross the street.

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There is another problem that I see, but I haven't heard anyone address it.  I certainly hope somebody with some popularity or celebrity status address this. Anyway, before I state the problem......another story...!

A man from South America was very poor.  But he was also optimistic and worked hard.  He made friends with an Italian who asked him to come to Italy. He came, however, he had no money.  So he had to work at all sorts of jobs, construction, janitor, waiter, anything he could find I took. He wasn't afraid. and slowly he saved what he could.  One day while sitting and resting from a job, he saw a synagogue. He decided to visit it.  The people there were nice to him, even though he wasn't Jewish.  And he came again, and again, and again. Finally, they accepted him in the synagogue and taught him whatever he wanted to know about Judaism. 


One day he confessed he wanted to convert.  The Italian rabbi wrote the proper papers and he managed to buy a ticket to Israel. Once there, he learned until his conversion. Again scrapping by with whatever jobs he could, he survived in a foreign country.


He left holding his head high with an Israeli passport and can return free of charge with the Israeli Law of Return!

Great story! True story!  Could such a scenario work for a Black person?

In the same situation with a Black person, would he be nicely received in Italy? If he worked odd and end jobs, could he get by with the money he scratched and saved? Maybe I got it wrong but sometimes I wonder if life is a bit harder for Blacks.  Like if they had small construction, janitorial jobs that maybe people would want to make sure they stay there and not progress or save or rise -maybe not necessarily by doing anything, but by subtle means. By their expectation which comes out in their choice of words, which comes out in their actions (for example, asking them to carry something too heavy vs if it was a white guy, getting help for him because he's not expected to be able to carry such a heavy load without hurting his back). And nevermind the outside influence, there is always -for Americans- the image of slavery that has been beaten into our heads, so when we work odd or manual labor, its hard to push that imagery out!   I don't know. I am just wondering about these things.

To be fair, I was also homeless when I first came to Israel. I had to work as a cleaning lady for a while and live in a youth hostel. So I'm not saying its impossible.

As far as solutions go:  I think the Israeli army got it right. They discovered that in order for the Ethiopian soldiers in the army to be successful, they needed to have at least two Ethiopians in a brigade.  Just one surviving all by himself will drive him nuts and bring him to depression and loneliness. Even when there is no overt racism involved.

I wonder if this could be applied in regular life? Having a good buddy- a kosher buddy now, I mean a real friend who's got your back. Someone to carry the other when they start feeling the effects of subtle hurts or something?

What a Day

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Most people are "blessed" with interesting days. Sometimes I think that due to my identity, sometimes my days are exceptionally interesting. Today is a good example.

I decided to take the kids to the zoo before the weather gets too cold. Today was perfect because there was a group meeting of mothers there that I wanted to check out. So we all got dressed up, I dealt with all the fighting, gave them what to eat and off we went.

Lucky for me, right at the bus stop there was a cab with a friendly driver just sitting there. In true Israeli style, everyone who had been standing at the bus stop tried to get involved in helping me. One bubbie /grandmotherly lady offered to help with the baby, another guy tried to explain to the cabby how to close up the stroller, another was hollering at the cabby for not helping more. Oy! okay. We're in and off we go to the zoo.

So far so good. Until we get to the monkey section. The zoo was mostly empty save a family who was video taping their daughter's glee at the animals, and a Jewish man with his son. The man and son seemed a bit distant with each other. Strained. I automatically presumed a divorce case and it was his turn with the kid. While my kids were looking at the swinging monkeys the man says to his son in Hebrew, "look at those monkeys, like black folks eh?"

I was shocked. I don't know how much Hebrew my kids understand, but I was upset. That's putting it mildly. What a public embarrassment. So I spat at him and moved away with my brode.

My kids got nervous about my actions and wanted to know why I spat at the man. I was glad about that: that meant they either didn't hear or didn't understand. However, I couldn't tell them. I just said he was teaching his son bad behavior. As I recall the poor son just stood there with his head hanging down. At his tender age of about 5, he understood the obnoxiousness of his father. Too sad.

Although I was still reeling, I put on a happy face and continued our excursion so the kids will relax. Finally we got to the zoo playground and the kids played happily. I got anxious when I saw a group heading our way. It was a school of Arab children taking a trip to the zoo. What now, I thought. What new insult to bear today?

When the loud, boisterous children got to the playground it was a sight to see. Children everywhere, up on the slide, swinging on the swing, climbing bars, running on bridges, very nice. A little crowd gathered around me and a little girl asked, "what is the name of your baby?" I told her. Then she said, "what is your name?" I answered. We both smiled at each other and she ran off to play.

I finally was able to round my own kids up and told them its time to go. They really wanted to go on a slide so I backed down and let them go once. They were quite small for the slide but lots of the Arab children took my kids and gently helped them across the play bridge and down the slide. Wasn't that the sweetest?!

Then we were leaving. On our way down the grassy hill, one of my daughters started rolling down the grass. Before I knew it, many of the other children from the school came rolling down as well. It was so beautiful how they wanted to interact. Had I had more time....

Anyway, so we finally got home. The kids with their new animal toys forgot about the incident after they told Mr. Blackfirewhitefire that mama spat on someone, of course. LOL!

But days like these just leaving me wondering, how in the world can outside people judge and hate one or hate another. Those who are too emotional about the middle east situation, I think, are harboring a hatred they don't want to admit to. We are all human and want to be happy and live our lives. Those who want to fix things in the middle east are welcomed by me. Haters stay back.

"Sundown Towns"

I always had a creepy feel around the suburbs that I worked at. It was extremely....white. That didn't bother me so much because I wasn't much of a loafer. I have a hard time just sitting at a cafe! I usually come, do my business, and go home.

But after reading Siditty's post on "Sundown Towns" I am so glad I didn't hang out! There are actual towns that don't want minorities around once the sun goes down!

You can read the original from Ann's blog

And Siditty's post.