After Divestment : Week 2; Restraint & Strength

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So onwards and upwards, we keep going towards self improvement. I won't even hope to have time to blog about it so this will be it. I didn't get to week one which was about kindness, but we are already on week 2 so lets begin there. (hopefully I can back track later).

One thing many people do after Passover,(as I've stated before in a previous post) we arrange ourselves to merit past recent miracles and position ourselves to receive more. This week is a look at Gevurah --restraint and strength, and taking.

How much is too much? How much is too little?

Gevurah is represented by the left hand. It stands for holding back and for being strong. Its like a red light warning us of poison or danger ahead or a stop sign. Gevurah personified was Isaac. At times I wonder, was it because of Abraham's great lovingkindness that Isaac became almost opposite? Anyway, Isaac was so restraining on himself that he would re-open only the wells that Abraham had made previously. Very rarely does he create a new well. He tried to follow in his father's footstep quite meticulously. Even dealing with almost the same problems as Abraham (going into Egypt, dealing with someone who wants his wife, calling his wife his sister, building wells, etc)

Gevurah is like going all the way to the left. Perfectly. Although, interestingly, he was the one personified as the gevurah one, (holding back his will when Abraham was about to sacrifice him) but Isaac is the only one I know of where the Bible describes him as having fun and being playful with his wife!

8 And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. Genesis 26:8

Also, his name Yitzhok in Hebrew is from the root word "to laugh"
Gevurah with a measure of kindness (the right hand) brings us to beauty (tiferet). A beautiful blend of giving and taking. Pretty interesting for someone whose known for their restrain.

Gevurah with a measure of kindness with the goal being to restrain brings us to empathy. Being able to help and be kind SPECIFICALLY BY not being intrusive or domineering. Like a therapist, just listening to a friend without judging or giving your input (unless they ask).

Gevurah with a measure of more gevurah =very rigid. At times this is necessary. But the key question is when?

Gevurah with beauty = holding back to give and /or take beautifully. This makes me think of myself trying not to punish the children out of my own anger and hurt dignity, but because they need to know that something is wrong. That already softens whatever punishment they get, plus it allows that the punishment corresponds to the "crime" -no heat.

Gevurah with domineering intent (netzah) = Being strong or empathetic consistantly. Not wishy washy. For example,in the work place you may do a feat which shows gevurah, strength. But with not being consistent in that strength, that image goes limp. You loose the dominion -no longer known for being solid, or whatever it was that you did.

However, if you remain consistent, showing strength, discipline, focus without falling for judging others, criticizing, etc. you can corner whatever market, group, field, provided you have the knowledge to back up this character!

The hardest part to control is the tongue.

Gevurah with a measure of yesod (I'm not sure how to translate yesod: foundation. sexual purity. creativity?) = This is basically being empathetic with a good measure of dominance. Knowing how wide you want to make the playing field for the other person, and not fuddling with the borders for your own sake.

Gevurah and malkhut (kingship)= All the previous traits noted above were things that emanate from yourself. Malkhut is the trait that receives from others and gives back. So exercising gevurah while giving back is basically maintaining you cool in a tough situation. At a time when you have to be strong, restraining, etc. knowing how to keep your cool is a worthwhile ability.

That is the focus for this week. Hopefully I can write more about it later. The most important thing of all is prayer though. No matter how much we work on ourselves, verbalizing what we want to attain and combining it with faith in God helps.

The Date, White vs Blacks, And BM vs BW

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I have a beautiful friend. She's a BW and dating. Recently, she dated a guy (white guy) who was pretty interesting. Somehow the guy turned the dating into an armchair psychiatric appointment. My friend, let's call her Liza, was so driven up the wall by this guy. Always, the guy dominated the date and kept asking my friend to be more open, more expressive. Date after date, it was more of the same. Finally, I put my big nose into her affair and told her that perhaps its better if they stopped seeing each other.

And so they did.

Time past and I met my friend again. We got into the topic of 'that guy', let's call him Motty. Turns out Motty has been emailing her. I was surprised and said surely she didn't write back. Even more surprising was her answer. She said she still had feelings for him! Still?! I didn't even know she had had feelings for him. Shows how right I was to stick my nose into somebody else's business.

I must admit good things did come out of their dating. One was that she actually DID become more in touch with her own feelings. She was able to confront her father who had been quite mean to her when she was young. She was able to realize her denial about her shyness towards men in general. So much came out after they had dated that she was almost a new, better person.

This made me think of white folks and black folks in general. Then I backtracked and starting thinking about black and white.

Then backtracked some more and thought of the way God made this world, with all its polarizations: up and down; left and right; black and white; good and evil; etc.

Then I backtracked once again and thought about God Himself. In the end of the day, all is God, all is one. We just can't see it here. Here we see the polarized world. At least, we are able to realize that one polarized side can not exist without the other side existing. Many can define "up" as "not down" or they may define "black" as the "absence of white". Basically, there are other ways to define these words, but what I am trying to show is how connected they are, despite their polarization. One side frames out with the other side is -like a picture and a picture frame.

Or like the algebraic equation of X, and (1-X). That was for you, Raw Dawg. lol.

Speaking of black and white. As usual, in Judaism, there are lots of associations to these colors. For example, blackness is associated with GEVUROT -complexity, separation, activity, arousal, and gevurah (from the sefirot. which means strength, restrain, harshness, severity, justice). Whereas whiteness is associated with HASSADIM which is associated with CHESSED which means simplicity, unifying and chessed (from the sefirot. which means kindness and giving).

Of course, coming from America, I couldn't help but to think about race. Due to their association with black and possibly the world's subconscious knowledge of GEVUROT, Could this be why many folks hold on to the stereotype that black folks are strong, potent, etc the whole mandingo myth?

And with the whiteness, I know giving can sound very nice -and it is! I am a very giving type but I know, from experience, too much giving can lead to domineering. The giver enjoys giving to person X. Finally, when the giver needs something, the giver begins to feel 'entitled' to it (after all she's given) while person X begins to feel small and incapable by himself. He begins to be beholden, if not resentful, to the giver. If the situation doesn't correct itself it can lead to oppressiveness, or worse SLAVERY!

The whole deal in the universe, it seems, is about figuring out the right balance.

Right now, the black community is struggling with problems such as "why aren't we unified?" "why are BM dissing BW?" "How come we don't have leaders who care?" and the latest, the contemplation of dating outside the race. (is that so new? **blush**).

Churning this business into my thought process of HASSADIM vs GEVUROT, I remember reading someone's description of HASSADIM and GEVUROT. He (Bakst, from the City of Luz website) compared it to fire. The essence of fire would be blackness. GEVUROT. Drop a little bit of HASSADIM into the picture, and then you can see the real fire -flames, red tips of the fire, blue-ish area where its not too hot. All the variety of the fire's color, the heat, etc.

Imagine a raging fire - it tends to separate things by burning it into ashes and the ashes fly away into the sky. Divided, and not unified. Each spark flying off on its own -leaderless, and starts more fires where it lands. All its variation of colors are out for all to see. GEVUROT is simply the name we use to refer to the force in the universe that attempts to separate.

If we wanted to reverse the picture to look at things from HASSADIM's point of view: HASSADIM is simply the name we use to refer to the force in the universe that attempts to unify. And dominate. Think of the Borg from Star Trek ("We are the Borg. Prepare to assimilate"). Or better yet, think of how the world would be If God did not conceal Himself. Everything would truly be a part of Him without illusions.

Anyway, back to the Fire analogy. With HASSADIM, we would only see whiteness. A big white canvass. Add a drop or two of GEVUROT, and things begin to separate! Now you can see the various flames. Red flames relegated to the most heated areas of the fire, blue for the coolest areas, etc.

Then I went back to my friend and her date. It was such a classic problem. Too much HASSADIM reigning and dominating; And not enough "drops" of GEVUROT setting up boundaries or relegating things in its proper places!

more later...