What is it about tantalizing thoughts that dance at the edge of my mind. A piece of memory I try to recall but it always skips away even farther, to the farthest reaches of my mind. I chase it. It dances and dances until somehow, I find the mental unexplainable hands to finally grab the memory or thought. Its a bit exhilarating and a little victorious.
The opposite of that, to me, are the nightmarish feelings that wash over me when I realized, but only as an aftermath, that I've just dealt with a toxic person. I run over the deposits of thoughts left in me over and over and wonder.. why do I feel guilt, how was that so hurtful, what stress washed over me, why must that person find fault in only what I said and everyone else stand correct -especially if its a man?
Then, like a wave it hits me. I have just dealt with toxicity. Depending on the level, the results can include all the above listed emotions, or a few -toxic -lite.
3 comments:
OMG! you just described exactly how I feel after encountering toxicity...yuckiest feeling in the world.
I do my very best to stay away from it but sometimes those people come to you, especially when it's family, that's the absolute worst.
Miriam,
I love the way you can place your fingure on your exact feelings.
I have serious issues with that. I can feel it, but I can't describe it. Maybe if I keep visiting here, I may learn how to.
Tania - This is one of the MAIN reasons why I appreciate adulthood. Because now I can get away from toxicity at will.
Grata - At times, I can actually get lost in my feels and take forever to ever come out.
"Maybe if I keep visiting here, I may learn how to."
Grata, (hugs) If I said I love you would that be too mushy? Too virtually unreal? lol
I do appreciate your ability to analyse things so well -and so fast!
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