First of all, I want BF to succeed. I want to actively do something to help them succeed. I'm not sure what, yet. I am keeping up with the Black Women Vote! blog and praying that everything and everyone stays focused and intact -without uncut attacks, etc.
Yes, I was a part of the Evia crowd. But from "bad happenings" I guess I got labelled a spy, and that was the end of that. I have tried many times to speak with them and clear the air via private email, to no avail. I still hold by Evia's teachings. I'm not too crazy about the mammy chronicles. But that does not take away from Evia, the person, or the rest of her message. (I really don't understand why people lump both Evia and Halima as if they are one, they are very different). I am saddened at the hurt, name calling, etc that goes on between all bloggers in general, but I will try to keep my head above water. If that is seen as wimpy or gutless, so be it.
One big complaint about IR bloggers is that they stress too much on the WM. I'm not going to get involved in that too much because, well, I just don't care to. Just noting that I am aware of that. I actually like the IR pictures they put up, that much I know. lol.
Sometimes I worry, do BW really -I mean really want to work together? Not everyone we meet will be 100 percent like us. To be sure, because I am married to a WM, I'm sure people will sneer -but you married a WM so therefore you're an assimilationist -in so many words. To be sure, if i'm not in a combative way, others may see me as spineless. No doubt if I change my mind on a topic, I'll be called on it.
When will BW love each other? How can grown people ....name call?! when will this hatred stop? Do we not understand that people can disagree at one or two points but that the rest can be called "common ground"? Is there any hope?
At any rate, I'll do what I can in my usual pace and in my usual tone. Hopefully, my steadiness will create my own name and position, regardless of the storm winds around me.
9 comments:
Hey Miriam,
Yeah, truly the situtaion in IR bog world is very sad. As an African I have my view about mammys, the WM worshiping but it appears its not my place to comment. So alot of this stuff I mostly watch. Then occasionally I or a villager gets attacked and so have to hit back.
Black People have to re-evaluate their sense of identity. I have continously questioned this sence of oneness based on skin color.
And that is the reason we have all this strife, people expect that based on skin color everyone is supposed to be alike. And people have to come to an acceptance of this falacy very soon or the fighting will never stop.
Awwww, Miriam. I don't blog as much as I used to (school, work, life) but I do read the IR blogs and have taken notice of the bickering and name calling. I do not know you personally, but your spirit comes through in your blogs and you must be a really wonderful person. I am shocked to read about friction between you and... anybody! Lol.
I don't agree with everything, but it's OK to disagree. Also, don't you dare, for one second, over extend yourself in reaching out for forgiveness unless it's warranted. Now I don't know what transpired, but you have been so kind and gracious with your blog, highlighting new blogs, offering your kind words, that whatever "it" was I am sure it was a misunderstanding. Brush it off and move on.
Hope everything is well with you and your family.
Lata!
thanks Grata & Amazing for your kind words. I am in no way trying to apologize, just clearing the air -in the cleanest way possible. lol.
Hey,
I like your blog. As per the name calling, unfortunately, that just seems to be how some people choose to operate. Everyone can't have the same opinion. I visit your blog because I like to read many of the things you have to say, not just the IR debates.
The IR situation is completely sad, a few can spoil the whole bunch we have to realize there are more blogs out there, and new ones popping up all the time. All we can do is support the blogs we like and ignore the ones we don't at this point. I am not about group think I want diversity in the blogs, and I think a lot of women want group think. It is either you are for us or against us and that isn't the case.
Miriam-
i am sorry that you had this experience.
i agree with Amazing...you have a sweet spirit that emanates from your blog. i have said this before. i can't imagine anyone being offended by you.
i don't for a second read you as weak or spineless. anyone that would, makes the mighty mistake of confusing kindness with weakness.
be encouraged. i admire and respect you:-)
blessing!
focusedpurpose
Late to the post but yeah you are right the situation in IR blogs and all the name-calling aint cool @ all... Hopefully it will die down.
There is nothing wrong with having a different opinion. It only becomes bad when people want to make it bad. We shouldnt be group thinking anyway. We are individuals.
Miriam,
I have a question for you. I am a white woman, married to a black man. This is a good black man. And everwhere we go, we get anger from black women.
However, the women don't know a lot of the story. We were together through an awful lot, including a drug addiction, homelessness and a lot else.
He is now clean, and one of the most charming, thoughtful nice individuals. We have raised a family of beautiful children and have a really happy home.
When BF send anger and dislike towards me, I always want to say, that I was there for the nightmare, when his AA girlfriend, and family gave up on him. Now, (for the last 5 years) he is doing great, and now you want him back?
Can you explain this to me? When he wasn't doing well, noone wanted to be with him and they were extremely cordial to me. Now he is successful, working, and treating my very well and now everyone is angry?
I just can't figure it out.
Diva -Thanks! I appreciate hearing that. sigh.
Siditty - How in the world did this 'group think' business become in such demand?!
Focused Purpose - Thanks! You are such a strength! I appreciate your encouragement.
Soila - Exactly. Last I check, I am an individual. But it was very hard to self identify for a while. *whew!*
Tee Jay - I am sure it didn't seem like it at the time, but wow! what an adventure your and his life has been. What experiences you guys have gained!
As for the angry relative. I am so sad to say, but it sounds A LOT like pure jealousy.
Some people just hate. They don't want others to succeed -even their own family members.
And then to succeed AND end up with a "white woman" its enough to make a BW faint! LOL some of them anyway, the one's who bought into the whole white is better business.
I hope there is a way to avoid them. Why have that negative vibe in your family's life. So many more horizons to conquer!
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