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Around 1800, there lived a man called Israel Odesser (1888 -1994). He was a simple man from a family that was not monetarily wealthy AT ALL. So much so, that their mother would give them each ONE drop of oil for their morsel of bread --that was their lunch to take to school.
Anyway, he tried his best to be a truly religious Jew but no one could answer his questions or inspire him. Finally, he found near a bunch of old books a book called "Out Pouring of the Soul". It was one of those outlawed Breslov books. He picked it up and read it. Immediately he knew it was a book he wanted to keep.
Everyday he would follow the teachings of that book and went to practice hitbodedut (seclusion and meditation and talking to God) in the fields. This was good for him. He continued to do this until a friend found the book. They fought about it as the friend was upset that Israel was reading a banned book. The friend was stronger and manage to take the book away. "Its Breslov, its forbidden!" And that was it. But it had already awakened in Israel the want to know more!
Eventually, he met more Breslovers and learned from them. He became more devoted and was able to be defiant and steady in his Breslov path. Many tried to discourage him. To the point that the place where he learned practically gave him no money. People harrassed him and shunned him. They tried to do everything possible to make his life miserable. But the books were too good. He wouldn't stop learning and speaking of it.
Well, one fast day (the fast of Tammuz))he was not feeling well. Everyone was fasting on that day and he wondered and debated to himself whether he should continue fasting or not. Eventually, he opted to eat something!
After breaking the fast, his spirits fell. How could he do such a thing?! How could he claim to be pious, Breslov, and devoted to God and make such a mistake? Why was the temptation so strong? He was crestfallen and could not forgive himself.
To be continued...
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