i feel like a loser today

.
Everything that I could do spiritually wrong, I feel like I did today. i want to bury my head in the sand.

* I don't like speaking lashon hara /disparagingly about someone.

* I don't like being on the defensive or on the offensive and hurting someone. It hurts even more when the person stays silent and doesn't defend himself.

* I don't like allowing my raging hormones to get the better of me.

* Rebbi Nachman says illness have physical and spiritual counterparts. Doctors can quickly find the physical aspect of an illness. However, the spiritual part is a down spirit. Depression. Melancholy and dispair. Excessive tears. Now I worry what illness will I bring upon myself being so down. lol.

okay, let me try to cheer myself up. Some of the following will be a stretch, but right now I need every good news I can find...

* Jill Dahne, America's top psychic is suppose to be coming to Israel to talk about intuition.

* We donated big time today to an organization. (sometimes it feels like when I do an "extra good" something I push push myself to do, like participating in a good deed I don't normally do -- somehow, I get thrown an "extra wrong" to contend with.)

* Rebbi Nachman also says one must be good at going and returning. In other words, don't hope to be on God's good side all the time. Part of being a good Jew, or a good servant of God, is to be able to fall down and then return. Going and coming.

So, I must gather my wrongs of today and use it to catapult myself back to the shining countenance of the Divine.

* I hope posting this has helped others.