Friday, April 30, 2010
When I Was a Whore...
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Not long after I converted to Judaism, I was happy to discover the library of Jewish books! Tons and tons of books I can just take out and read to my heart's content. At the time, I didn't bother with which book I was "ready" for and which book I wasn't ready for. I just wanted all the knowledge crammed into my head at once. lol.
The bigger the book the better. The more mystical even better!
Well one time I was reading such books. It was delving into the strength of the love that God had for the Jewish people and how it should be reciprocated. How the Cherubim would embrace each other when there was peace and accord between God and those who agreed to follow the Torah and how it would be back to back when there was discord. Somehow it brought in a string of biology and tied it in, it brought in physics and tied it in, history and tied it in. It was such amazing books that it brought me to a level! I think I was high from it. My whole body quivered (you know where I"m getting at?)
It made me wonder how can words make a person climax? Can words impregnant a person?
This made me think of all the many people who travel to India in the hopes of finding a guru, an ashram, a meditation that will get them to a transcendingly high place.
I felt like I was getting access to something I didn't understand and wasn't ready for. Indeed, it felt very good. But still I didn't know. I didn't have understanding. I felt like a mistress having a secret rendevous with a cohort and that it was not in holy matrimony.
Some time later a rabbi told me that I need to delve deeper into the Tannakh and learn halakhah. (The Tannakh is the Jewish version of the Old Testament; Halakhah is Jewish law.). The Tannakh?! Halakhah?! I thought I studied all that already for the sake of cnversion. Deeper? Okay. I complied.
As time passed, I understood.
The Bible, Tannakh, Halakhah -to me- is the food for the soul. It strengthens the body so that we can take on the transcendental unscathed and in holy matrimony. This is a book that practically everyone has access to. Its available in every bookstore. But I suspect no body really knows its worth. Each persona and their corresponding story is nourishment for a different part of the body, a rectification and a teaching for different sets of actions, Abraham -the right hand teaches about kindness, hospitality, Joseph the seksual organs, purity; Moses the right leg, dominance and perseverance; Issac, Jacob, Aaron, and King David. Together these "seven shepherds" guide us and strenthen us and prepare us for our transcendental union.
So hopefully there will be no baby daddies, no unholy matrimony, no out of wedlock "children" for me (and for you!). I'll see you, Mr. Transcendental, at the wedding canopy. lol.
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Not long after I converted to Judaism, I was happy to discover the library of Jewish books! Tons and tons of books I can just take out and read to my heart's content. At the time, I didn't bother with which book I was "ready" for and which book I wasn't ready for. I just wanted all the knowledge crammed into my head at once. lol.
The bigger the book the better. The more mystical even better!
Well one time I was reading such books. It was delving into the strength of the love that God had for the Jewish people and how it should be reciprocated. How the Cherubim would embrace each other when there was peace and accord between God and those who agreed to follow the Torah and how it would be back to back when there was discord. Somehow it brought in a string of biology and tied it in, it brought in physics and tied it in, history and tied it in. It was such amazing books that it brought me to a level! I think I was high from it. My whole body quivered (you know where I"m getting at?)
It made me wonder how can words make a person climax? Can words impregnant a person?
This made me think of all the many people who travel to India in the hopes of finding a guru, an ashram, a meditation that will get them to a transcendingly high place.
I felt like I was getting access to something I didn't understand and wasn't ready for. Indeed, it felt very good. But still I didn't know. I didn't have understanding. I felt like a mistress having a secret rendevous with a cohort and that it was not in holy matrimony.
Some time later a rabbi told me that I need to delve deeper into the Tannakh and learn halakhah. (The Tannakh is the Jewish version of the Old Testament; Halakhah is Jewish law.). The Tannakh?! Halakhah?! I thought I studied all that already for the sake of cnversion. Deeper? Okay. I complied.
As time passed, I understood.
The Bible, Tannakh, Halakhah -to me- is the food for the soul. It strengthens the body so that we can take on the transcendental unscathed and in holy matrimony. This is a book that practically everyone has access to. Its available in every bookstore. But I suspect no body really knows its worth. Each persona and their corresponding story is nourishment for a different part of the body, a rectification and a teaching for different sets of actions, Abraham -the right hand teaches about kindness, hospitality, Joseph the seksual organs, purity; Moses the right leg, dominance and perseverance; Issac, Jacob, Aaron, and King David. Together these "seven shepherds" guide us and strenthen us and prepare us for our transcendental union.So hopefully there will be no baby daddies, no unholy matrimony, no out of wedlock "children" for me (and for you!). I'll see you, Mr. Transcendental, at the wedding canopy. lol.
Back on the Net
/
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Yay! I'm back on the net. (one of the luxuries I had to give up for a few days.)
But I'm not the same.
I've been in a cocoon. I used to think that caterpillars in a cocoon lay peaceful and restful as they go through their metamorphasis. Well, after my own "cocoon" experience *whewee!!** I feel for the caterpillars! lol!
Then again maybe they have its easier...
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Yay! I'm back on the net. (one of the luxuries I had to give up for a few days.)
But I'm not the same.
I've been in a cocoon. I used to think that caterpillars in a cocoon lay peaceful and restful as they go through their metamorphasis. Well, after my own "cocoon" experience *whewee!!** I feel for the caterpillars! lol!
Then again maybe they have its easier...
Flashback Post: After Divestment? Netzach
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Netzakh means dominance, perseverance, longevity, etc. I don't have a one word translation which is why I am using the Hebrew word.
Netzakh is represented by the right leg.
The one who personifies netzakh is Moses. Everything he did, he tried to make sure it was a permanent fix. After he led the Jewish people out of slavery in Egypt, he came down with the Torah and yearned and tried to make sure the Jewish people made it to the promise land. Unfortunately he died before doing that last action. For that, the land being permanently in Jewish hands was not a permanent thing; many times they were captured and taken away. Returned and captured again, etc. But everything before that was done with a dose of netzakh, including the yearning for the land.
That is also why Moses' seemingly small errors (such as hitting the stone extract water)where so grave.
Netzakh with lovingkindness/Chessed (giving, unconditional lovingkindness). "For anything to endure it needs to be loved" (from Aish website). Interestingly, many AAs are back tracking and reflecting. They are looking for their good points and that is very crucial.If there is no vested interest in something or someone, the actions that we do towards it or for it will not be for permanence; it'll be of a way to "get rid" of someone or something.
Netzakh with gevurah (strength, restraint). Being diciplined in our determination is an essential key to endurance. I remember long ago, I used feed on my anger to get fuel to get things done. "Nevermind nobody's helping me, I'll do it on my own!" "No! now that you feel bad for me, now I for sure don't want your help!!" Oh brother! Do I regret those. Well, at the time I only knew how to draw strength (and adrenaline) from negtivity (anger). There is strength to be drawn from joy. from fulfillment of one's good desires as opposed to from one's negativity.
In brief, check one's self to see where is our energy coming from, that will let us see in the long run where it will take us.
Netzakh with tiferet (beauty). Once the perfect combo of giving and holding back is established, this ought to be consistently pushed and upheld.
Netzakh with netzakh. I tend to think of this as dominance overload. Or obnoxious pushing. But even that has its uses. Especially when confronting a powerful enemy. For instance, I see many abused people using this when they realize that no one will believe them that there is a problem with the (abusive ) husband, or father, or whatever. At a certain point, the abused person has to just shut their mind, hold onto their beliefs and ram through.
Netzakh with hod (spendor, empathy). This is a tough one because the two seem like opposites. Can one have dominance without stepping on anyone's toes? Hmmmmm......
Netzakh with yesod (foundation, creativity, sexual purity). In creativity, its important that time does not constrain the art. Its like a movie that makes reference to a current event --in a few years that phrase they inserted in the movie will have no relevance. Rather the movie may have more value if a time -memorial quote was used such as "Rome was not built in a day" (a classic quote) rather than "you can't handle the truth!" (from A Few Good Men movie).
Netzakh with malkhut (kingship). Here is where we take from the world and give back in a long lasting way. The only example I can think of (sorry) is beating up a bully; After taking much from the bully, the response is a good kick in the pants. That way, he will know in a permanent way, not to mess with you again. lol.
Netzakh means dominance, perseverance, longevity, etc. I don't have a one word translation which is why I am using the Hebrew word.
Netzakh is represented by the right leg.The one who personifies netzakh is Moses. Everything he did, he tried to make sure it was a permanent fix. After he led the Jewish people out of slavery in Egypt, he came down with the Torah and yearned and tried to make sure the Jewish people made it to the promise land. Unfortunately he died before doing that last action. For that, the land being permanently in Jewish hands was not a permanent thing; many times they were captured and taken away. Returned and captured again, etc. But everything before that was done with a dose of netzakh, including the yearning for the land.
That is also why Moses' seemingly small errors (such as hitting the stone extract water)where so grave.
Netzakh with lovingkindness/Chessed (giving, unconditional lovingkindness). "For anything to endure it needs to be loved" (from Aish website). Interestingly, many AAs are back tracking and reflecting. They are looking for their good points and that is very crucial.If there is no vested interest in something or someone, the actions that we do towards it or for it will not be for permanence; it'll be of a way to "get rid" of someone or something.
Netzakh with gevurah (strength, restraint). Being diciplined in our determination is an essential key to endurance. I remember long ago, I used feed on my anger to get fuel to get things done. "Nevermind nobody's helping me, I'll do it on my own!" "No! now that you feel bad for me, now I for sure don't want your help!!" Oh brother! Do I regret those. Well, at the time I only knew how to draw strength (and adrenaline) from negtivity (anger). There is strength to be drawn from joy. from fulfillment of one's good desires as opposed to from one's negativity.
In brief, check one's self to see where is our energy coming from, that will let us see in the long run where it will take us.
Netzakh with tiferet (beauty). Once the perfect combo of giving and holding back is established, this ought to be consistently pushed and upheld.
Netzakh with netzakh. I tend to think of this as dominance overload. Or obnoxious pushing. But even that has its uses. Especially when confronting a powerful enemy. For instance, I see many abused people using this when they realize that no one will believe them that there is a problem with the (abusive ) husband, or father, or whatever. At a certain point, the abused person has to just shut their mind, hold onto their beliefs and ram through.
Netzakh with hod (spendor, empathy). This is a tough one because the two seem like opposites. Can one have dominance without stepping on anyone's toes? Hmmmmm......
Netzakh with yesod (foundation, creativity, sexual purity). In creativity, its important that time does not constrain the art. Its like a movie that makes reference to a current event --in a few years that phrase they inserted in the movie will have no relevance. Rather the movie may have more value if a time -memorial quote was used such as "Rome was not built in a day" (a classic quote) rather than "you can't handle the truth!" (from A Few Good Men movie).
Netzakh with malkhut (kingship). Here is where we take from the world and give back in a long lasting way. The only example I can think of (sorry) is beating up a bully; After taking much from the bully, the response is a good kick in the pants. That way, he will know in a permanent way, not to mess with you again. lol.
Flashback Post: After Divestment?
This week the focus is on HOD. Hod means splendor, bringing a magnificence to things by minimizing one's self, refraining also.
hod personified is Aaron. He refrained when the mixed multitude encouraged others and built the golden calf. (I suspect if he didn't refrain, if he tried to protest, he'd of gotten shot!). He also chose his words carefully when relaying messages to people -to keep the peace.
Hod is also represented by the left leg (to be close to the left arm which represents gevurah)
India Arie...
Michael Jordan...
These names come to mind when I think of Hod. If MJ was arrogant then nevermind. Hod is about being at ease with your talents without letting it go to your head. People who take something ordinary and jazz it up that it almost becomes something new.
A short story:
Some can fake humility, By Hod I mean true humility. But not the absence of self esteem.
That also reminds me of my aunt. Once, while cooking one of her famous mushroom rice, she says to my mom, " well you know...we are black so I just had to add some spices!"
Back then I laughed.
Hod with lovingkindness - Giving measured help. Knowing when the "grave digger" line has been crossed, and stopping. Its like backing away and letting a child try to walk by himself. The child will cry and protest, but slowly slowly he takes a step... then another.. and so on.
Hod with gevurah - Giving your best at a work (not just job, I mean)--but being able to get one's due compensation. I think Evia's got that one covered: reciprocity.
Hod with tiferet - Balanced humility. At times letting go of one's due reciprocity may be called for. Other times one may need more than one's fair share.
Hod with netzach - Being consistant. This may require a mantra because ( and maybe its just me) but its hard to stay humble all the time. A mantra, studying books of character traits, affirmations, etc.
Hod with hod - The position people want BW to be in. INVISIBLE! lol! Nevertheless even this has its value and use. Usually when a great thing is about to happen (a miracle, a mazal tov, good news) its helpful to make one's self small and unassuming. No unwanted attention to draw jealousy, saboteurs, and what nots. Don't misunderstand, even God does Hod of hod as He makes Himself seemingly not around so that we can all behave like we REALLY want to. But that (and all the other traits) are godly traits and are useful for different circumstances.
Hod with yesod - Creation of good foundation in relationships. Using humility and truth and restrain in a balanced measure.
Hod with Malkhut - Letting your "subjects" i.e. your children, any one under your influence, within your circle to be themselves. None of that "why you gotta act a fool?" Just accepting people (within REASON!)-that is your kingdom. Its also useful to learn who is good at what? Who enjoys what? You can't really learn and know anyone unless you allow them to be them selves. But afterwards, you can know who to call for which task because you truly know their character, quirks, and tendencies.
hod personified is Aaron. He refrained when the mixed multitude encouraged others and built the golden calf. (I suspect if he didn't refrain, if he tried to protest, he'd of gotten shot!). He also chose his words carefully when relaying messages to people -to keep the peace.
Hod is also represented by the left leg (to be close to the left arm which represents gevurah)India Arie...
Michael Jordan...
These names come to mind when I think of Hod. If MJ was arrogant then nevermind. Hod is about being at ease with your talents without letting it go to your head. People who take something ordinary and jazz it up that it almost becomes something new.
A short story:
There was once a spiritual leader who entered his place of worship, dropped down on his knees and cried out in a loud voice, "I am nothing! I am nothing!"
The President of the board, who happened to also be a doctor and a lawyer, also entered the place. He proceeded to follow suit and dropped down crying in a loud voice, "I am nothing! Nothing!"
The janitor, who was doing his rounds came upon the two crying out. In a gush of self pity and humility also dropped down and cried, "I am nothing! I am nothing!!"
The other two stopped and looked at the janitor with disgust, "who does he think he is?!"
Some can fake humility, By Hod I mean true humility. But not the absence of self esteem.
That also reminds me of my aunt. Once, while cooking one of her famous mushroom rice, she says to my mom, " well you know...we are black so I just had to add some spices!"
Back then I laughed.
Hod with lovingkindness - Giving measured help. Knowing when the "grave digger" line has been crossed, and stopping. Its like backing away and letting a child try to walk by himself. The child will cry and protest, but slowly slowly he takes a step... then another.. and so on.
Hod with gevurah - Giving your best at a work (not just job, I mean)--but being able to get one's due compensation. I think Evia's got that one covered: reciprocity.
Hod with tiferet - Balanced humility. At times letting go of one's due reciprocity may be called for. Other times one may need more than one's fair share.
Hod with netzach - Being consistant. This may require a mantra because ( and maybe its just me) but its hard to stay humble all the time. A mantra, studying books of character traits, affirmations, etc.
Hod with hod - The position people want BW to be in. INVISIBLE! lol! Nevertheless even this has its value and use. Usually when a great thing is about to happen (a miracle, a mazal tov, good news) its helpful to make one's self small and unassuming. No unwanted attention to draw jealousy, saboteurs, and what nots. Don't misunderstand, even God does Hod of hod as He makes Himself seemingly not around so that we can all behave like we REALLY want to. But that (and all the other traits) are godly traits and are useful for different circumstances.
Hod with yesod - Creation of good foundation in relationships. Using humility and truth and restrain in a balanced measure.
Hod with Malkhut - Letting your "subjects" i.e. your children, any one under your influence, within your circle to be themselves. None of that "why you gotta act a fool?" Just accepting people (within REASON!)-that is your kingdom. Its also useful to learn who is good at what? Who enjoys what? You can't really learn and know anyone unless you allow them to be them selves. But afterwards, you can know who to call for which task because you truly know their character, quirks, and tendencies.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Lesson Learned
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At times we have readily available (liquid) money and at times we are omgoodness so financially strapped. Right now we are in the hard times. In fact all we had for dinner yesterday was rice and apples! And the rice was from a neighbor. Hah! (but it was filling and tasty). Its hard sometimes and I had a discussion with a group of friends and came up with this:
A friend said she lives in a way that folks can't know whether she's in the "high liquid asset' stage or whether she's in the "low liquid asset' stage. And the extra money she gets, she treats it as if its not for her (put in bank, give charity, etc.).
I like that. I learned.
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At times we have readily available (liquid) money and at times we are omgoodness so financially strapped. Right now we are in the hard times. In fact all we had for dinner yesterday was rice and apples! And the rice was from a neighbor. Hah! (but it was filling and tasty). Its hard sometimes and I had a discussion with a group of friends and came up with this:
A friend said she lives in a way that folks can't know whether she's in the "high liquid asset' stage or whether she's in the "low liquid asset' stage. And the extra money she gets, she treats it as if its not for her (put in bank, give charity, etc.).
I like that. I learned.
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Isaiah 11
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1 And there shall come forth a shoot out of the stock of Jesse, and a twig shall grow forth out of his roots.
2 And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.
3 And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD; and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither decide after the hearing of his ears;
4 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the land; and he shall smite the land with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.
5 And righteousness shall be the girdle of his loins, and faithfulness the girdle of his reins.
6 And the wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.
7 And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
8 And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the basilisk's den.
9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain; for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea. {S}
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