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My sister and I have decided to improve our Hebrew. Its the language spoken here in this country. Although I know it well enough to get by, "getting by" should not be the goal.
That would be settling for mediocrity.
Well, there's Ulpan - Hebrew schools run by the government, that's one option to learn more. Another option is the Sherut Leumi folks. Folks who choose not to serve in the army, but do community service instead. One such girl comes and helps me with the children, but in the process gives me practice with the Hebrew. I am going to make a stronger, more focused effort to speak the language and to gain new vocabulary words. I also have to review the new words I've learned and practice conjugating them.
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Hassadim and Gevurot.
I wonder if that's just the Jewish version of yin and yang.
Hassadim is the force in the universe that unites. Gevurot is the force or pull towards separation. Just like yin and yang, hassadim is denoted by the color white and gevurot is denoted by the color black. Also, hassadim is viewed as masculine whereas gevurot is feminine. And just like yin and yang, you can't have one without the other. Its alot more complicated than that, but I'm simplifying for brevity's sake.
I always muse with myself when people say what do BF have in common? Are we a community? Sometimes I think we are the personification of the gevurot forces. Black personified. We can separate, and boy do we separate alright! lol! Be it tribal, shades color, etc., I don't need to go into details about our separation, non-unifying skills.
It makes me think of the Purim story I just read. About Mordechai and Esther. King Xerxes searched high and low for a new wife (after doing away with his previous one) and who did he find but Esther- who also reminds me of gevurot (separated from Mordechai. Feminine.) And the king then takes her away from Mordechai (who to me can be hassadim -Masculine, tries to maintain unity by hanging around the court of the palace to be close to Esther). And as for the king -sometimes we don't know if the author means king as in God, or king as in the human king Xerxes. Also with BF, the trials we've gone through seems man made (slavery, discrimination) but at times it seems like Someone is just out to get us!
And so the story goes, Haman wants people to submit to idol worship. He attacks the hassadim side of the unit which is Mordechai from the unit of Mordechai and Esther. Just like nowadays, anything we try to do which is beneficial to ourselves- but involves unity such as wanting marriage, conforming to rules (snitching, speaking a proper English) is called "acting white" by the opposers and derailers. Said in a way that means, "don't do that, its not for you."
Esther is not sure what to do. She is afraid to come before the "King", but realizes that she does need to be united with Mordechai and all of her people to fast and atone and prepare and then she just has to come before the King -too much is at stake to play meek. Its time for some holy boldness! Fasting =not eating, burning away of our fat, being a little less physical and a little more spiritual.
Its interesting that Esther was the one taken by King Xerxes. Esther, gevurot, has a more likely chance of falling into the wrong hands simply because of its nature. To be constantly in motion, to be separated-thus without much allies, to be seen as feminine and thus more vulnerable, etc. We should take good note of this and understand it well.
In the end, after a three day fast and preparation she decides to risk it.
She boldly goes before the King. Coming before the King without being summoned was guarranteed a bad outcome. In the same way, we look at ourselves, full of wrong both accidental and intentional, full of character traits that could use repair, full of cravings and habit that we need to control and wonder, can I still come before the Creator of the universe? Can I still make requests?
Just to pray requires a bit of boldness indeed.
Nevertheless, Esther pleads her case........ and is granted favor!
I could expound more but there is simply not enough time. But suffice it to say that its interesting that we must get drunk on that day. Drunk enough that we do not know who is good, Haman or Mordechai, wrong or right. Things are upside down.
I urge you all, to take a look at these concepts marriage, reporting crimes, etc and seeing that perhaps just perhaps there is good in it and be strong. Strong enough to defy the derailers who try to keep good from you.
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