The Apology

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A hard part about living in Israel is that after being so accustomed to the ways of America, its hard to be in a place where people don't sue for things, there's no Afirmative Action type things, etc. One simply must rely on God and themselves.

Yesterday, as I was minding my own business walking home. Some two girls about ten years old or so said some racial slurs. "cushi, cushi!" (That word, in of itself is not a racial slur, but when said with a particular tone, its a slur). At first I thought to just ignore it. but they said it again. Then I thought, you know, for the sake of my kids, another black person who'll pass by here, my sister, etc., this just can't go. So I turned around to rebuke them.

They ran into their apartment. As fast as I could take my big ole self, I followed them, but didn't see which apartment they entered. Nevermind, I doggedly knocked on every door. Amazing what hormones can do. Finally I found the house and spoke firmly to the mother.


Without achdut /togetherness the Jews will fall. We are ever dependent on the rope tied by Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob together. We need every able bodied person to hold hands with one another and form a strong bond before Hashem /our God. It doesn't mean we have to agree on things, but to grow up jeering a fellow Jew based on... nothing, that is a great divide, a great separation, a great breach of national security. Yes, this may seem exaggerated to the non-religious eyes, I understand. But that is where we stand. Every religious Jew knows this.

So, I gave her a piece of my mind about how I think she's raising her children. And left it at that.

The next day, I finally told my husband. He, too, was upset about it and went to speak to the parent. They got our address and said she wanted her daughter to come and apologize. My husband came back with the news. Oh brother. Now I have to be the gracious one and forgive?! lol. But yes, I, too, must play my part in the achdut / togetherness.

It was funny. All day, I tried to imagine how I would receive them. Will I give them the rest of what I wanted to say, but held back? Should I listen dryly then slam the door on their faces as they ask for forgiveness? Should I truly clear my heart and accept their repentance? Wouldn't I want God to forgive me -or my children- for any wrong they should do intentionally or not? I tried to swallow. I MUST forgive completely.

Judaism does not teach that one should forgive AND FORGET. Just forgive.

I can do it.

The evening came and I heard the knock on the door. Sigh. I can do it. I opened up and there she was with two of her daughters. She asked for forgiveness and her children apologized. She even offered bamba (a favorite Israeli treat) to the children -but they were too shy to come and get it.

In the end of it all, I forgave them. This was easy. It was only children -albeit old enough to know better, but still children none the less. I wonder how it will be should I have to stand up to an adult. So far I haven't had to deal with that. Thank God -as in, thank God, the adults somewhat keep it in check.