No doubt i have a huge imagination that sometimes need taming.
With the passing of my friend, too many thought were swimming in my head... questions such as "why did she have to be taken care of by her sister, the one who had so much dissention against her?" "could that have cause the whole sickness in the first place?" "what could I have done? mediate between the two? Try to wrestle control of the situation and bring her to different doctors?"
I get so confused that I need an outside person to examine all the details and give me an objective conclusion.
Also, I am mourning my dear dear friend and fighting off all the pressures from people insisting that I go to this healing get together, and go to that shiva call, etc. Let me heal on my own and do what I can already.